did you ever want something so bad, you wished and hoped and prayed for it and when it was finally given to you, all you could do was worry that it would be taken away? that somehow God is up there waiting to say "ha ha! just kidding!"?
sometimes it does happen - the new bicycle crashes, the new job doesn't turn out to be so great, the beautiful new shoes mangle your feet (ok, ok, i've never prayed for new shoes, but i sure have been grateful to receive them and consider them a blessing!!!).
how can we count our blessings, but also be willing to give them up if God so chooses? how can we hold on to our gifts less tightly, trusting in a Creator that infinitely knows what is best for us?
when i was small, i truly believed that whatever i prayed for in earnest would be given to me. that if i prayed really, really hard, God would let me have whatever i asked for! i remember the rude awakening when we realized mom had inheirited her mother's illness. i was shocked. i truly, deeply, honestly was convicted that it wouldn't happen. i had prayed earnestly since i was old enough to understand that this wouldn't happen. how could God deny that prayer? years later i understand that what we are given soars far above what we ask for. that her illness had a purpose. that her life still had meaning. but, the spectre of fear entered my heart at that time and i continue to battle against it...what if what i desperately want isn't what God wants? what if i am mistaken in thinking that what i'm asking for is part of His plan? what if He decides that this is not right for me?
this is really the deeper meaning of trusting God...trusting that when He gives and when He takes away...we are still able to say Blessed Be the Name of the Lord.
does this make any sense? do you ever feel the same?
p.s. no that is not Little Dude, and no we haven't adopted another dog! just a fun photo i found on the internet!
3 comments:
That picture is priceless!
I can relate to what you're saying. I always admire people that sincerely see all they have as God's. If I ask him for something, then I'm willing to say it belongs to God and he is gifting it to me, but once it's mine then it's MINE! Hmm, I do that with people too. Maybe I need to learn to not be so possessive.
Thanks for sharing!
I totally understand... I think that you are given gifts for the limited time that you have them... regardless of how long that might be. You treasure every moment that you have them in the present (now), and you realize (after it is taken away) that those golden moments were all that was meant to be - and for that time, they were all yours.
The March, 2006 Mary Englebreit calendar page had a beautiful picture along with a quote from Dr. Seuss-"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Our many moves have made it necessary for me to "let go" of places and people I love. I cry, but I smile too. When the "Time to Say Goodby" song was played at your mom's memorial service and I knew I was getting on an airplane the next morning to go back to Texas, I could hardly bear it. All I know, dear one, is the One who loves us best, knows those we love best, and we can safely trust them in His care. I put you there with my own children. I love you.
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