how good we've got it

what do you do when you feel that tell-tale scratchy throat or burning nose? if you are like me, you run for the zinc lozenges and the airborne and more often than not, it clears up after a few days.

i haven't had a real out-and-out head cold in at least two years.

until last week.

i spent my fifth night on the couch last night, trying to "sleep" upright, coughing every few minutes. i ended up pulling a muscle in my side, so now every cough comes with a stab in the ribs.

i'm not very good with suffering. i'm not very good with pain. i want to go run and pop some pills or take some potion and make it go away. tolerating is not my forte. but, being that this body is currently housing other residents, i am not free to pollute it as i would normally and am reduced to meagre, ineffective remedies to cope with these symptoms.

i spent last week feeling angry and resentful. i was mad. i wasn't a very nice wife, and i wasn't a very nice mommy.

this week i'm trying to spend those wakeful hours in prayer asking for a quiet heart and courage amidst the suffering, and praying for others as well as myself. it's not even REAL suffering! there are so many who have faced true chronic pain, true illness, untreatable suffering and all i have is a silly little head cold and a cough. it's bound to be gone in a week or so.

what have i really got to complain about? not much.

i do know that when the day comes that i am able to sleep lying down, and actually sleep, without the punctuation of coughing every few seconds, for several hours at a stretch (i know that "through the night" is a long-distance dream!) i will recognize it as the gift it truly is!

simple things. gratitude. good.